I killed myself.
It's been so long since I felt this way.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Hari Raya
Few days. Been consolidating the ups and downs of this emotional cycle. Consider this down for the moment. Not even oh-sea-bass(a name lovingly coined by lisa) could help this. In fact, he was like the main cause. But whatever.
Like all minahs, I get my fair share of hari raya fun too (: & it all started out at Ada's house, with her very exciting mom (YAW!) and her younger sister who is apparently taller then Ada herself, and uhhh the rest of us too - except qianny & mom (i think) It's was super fun. Her mom's cooking is superb (don't know why Ada not like that! HAHAHAHA) & yup, it was a hell lot of F&N orange that day man. and alot of posing with Ada's kebaya together with qianny, chergoh and mom. Awesome. Okay the pics are still with qianny. taking forever. AHAHAH.
nts: must upload pics cos i look very demure. ok.
Yup, and hariraya second round at aunt's house was very fun too. My uncle is so damn hilarious. We were watching this chinese variety show which Fei-ge was hosting and he told me this:
"Ling, why his hair like caterpillar ah?"
Other than that, it was the usual nonsense I was receiving from my 2nd cousin, who is apparently the most FOC of all 3. Take photo also never take properly. he practically zoomed all the way to my face so that he could detect my pimples. idiot. Cousin-in-law was there too. TEEHEEHEE. shorter skirts = easier to walk = gooooooood.
OKAYYYYYE
Like all minahs, I get my fair share of hari raya fun too (: & it all started out at Ada's house, with her very exciting mom (YAW!) and her younger sister who is apparently taller then Ada herself, and uhhh the rest of us too - except qianny & mom (i think) It's was super fun. Her mom's cooking is superb (don't know why Ada not like that! HAHAHAHA) & yup, it was a hell lot of F&N orange that day man. and alot of posing with Ada's kebaya together with qianny, chergoh and mom. Awesome. Okay the pics are still with qianny. taking forever. AHAHAH.
nts: must upload pics cos i look very demure. ok.
Yup, and hariraya second round at aunt's house was very fun too. My uncle is so damn hilarious. We were watching this chinese variety show which Fei-ge was hosting and he told me this:
"Ling, why his hair like caterpillar ah?"
Other than that, it was the usual nonsense I was receiving from my 2nd cousin, who is apparently the most FOC of all 3. Take photo also never take properly. he practically zoomed all the way to my face so that he could detect my pimples. idiot. Cousin-in-law was there too. TEEHEEHEE. shorter skirts = easier to walk = gooooooood.
OKAYYYYYE
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
The power of words, and mind.
School has been torturous. I really wish that they could just leave us alone and let us study all we want. It's irritating to the max when they want us to go back to school to have exams, and it's doubly irritating to the max when the exam scripts are not marked. Not that I'm gonna score full marks or something, but more of the mentality that they imposing in our minds - "Don't have to study, cos it's not gonna be marked" It's an f-up mentality man. :S
Even like now, I'm contemplating whether to go for math tmr. Lit is still at least writable if you didn't study, but math = GG. If it wasn't for meeting XiaoTing and ShengBiao tmr, I think I wouldn't even wanna contemplate already (:
On the other hand, despite the frustrating school that has been setting my mood in a very fluctuating graph, everything's been right. (: Mr oh-sea-ass has been a great source of my motivation and me being smiley all day long, but also a very very very good source of distraction. I'm amazed how flustered I can get by just looking at the handphone with no text. Handphone's pretty busy, spending less time on the computer --> which is a good sign. There is, of course a noticeably increase in the amount of times of being caught smiling to myself, with no explanations but just fits of laughter in the person's face. Oh well. Let's all attribute that to stress lah. Deb's been exclaiming alot over the other side, which really cracks me up. Lisa has been all cranky at my tagboard, with the disappearing footprints of deb's stalker. Wifey's back, with an extra load of 3kg(presumably) of weight gain from taiwan - mai dong xi, chi dong xi. And Mr Oh-sea-ass has just been amazing. :D I like such a life - minusing the exams and stuff, amazing.
oh, hafta include rugby and photog ;D
Even like now, I'm contemplating whether to go for math tmr. Lit is still at least writable if you didn't study, but math = GG. If it wasn't for meeting XiaoTing and ShengBiao tmr, I think I wouldn't even wanna contemplate already (:
On the other hand, despite the frustrating school that has been setting my mood in a very fluctuating graph, everything's been right. (: Mr oh-sea-ass has been a great source of my motivation and me being smiley all day long, but also a very very very good source of distraction. I'm amazed how flustered I can get by just looking at the handphone with no text. Handphone's pretty busy, spending less time on the computer --> which is a good sign. There is, of course a noticeably increase in the amount of times of being caught smiling to myself, with no explanations but just fits of laughter in the person's face. Oh well. Let's all attribute that to stress lah. Deb's been exclaiming alot over the other side, which really cracks me up. Lisa has been all cranky at my tagboard, with the disappearing footprints of deb's stalker. Wifey's back, with an extra load of 3kg(presumably) of weight gain from taiwan - mai dong xi, chi dong xi. And Mr Oh-sea-ass has just been amazing. :D I like such a life - minusing the exams and stuff, amazing.
oh, hafta include rugby and photog ;D
Sunday, October 05, 2008
No.
lynette lee needs to stop procrastinating and do her work. living in denial because of the f-up art will not get her to university.
not going to a university means:
- minimal chances of playing rugby with my team mates
- death
- it's the end
- parents how?
- future how?
- money how? I still wanna be a freelance photographer (which includes a SLR cam somehow)
- money how? I still wanna get canterbury shorts, together with my suit to prevent anymore bak kwas.
WALAOEHHHH!
not going to a university means:
- minimal chances of playing rugby with my team mates
- death
- it's the end
- parents how?
- future how?
- money how? I still wanna be a freelance photographer (which includes a SLR cam somehow)
- money how? I still wanna get canterbury shorts, together with my suit to prevent anymore bak kwas.
WALAOEHHHH!
Alright meh?
I don't understand, is it me? Was it because I've been out of civilisation for a period of time (due to art, which is eversince 08 started) - to the extent of not knowing how to respond to very basic stuff, or probably like, not knowing that THIS IS THE WAY to respond/behave. It scares me.
I scared. (okay, shut up).
I don't really know how to put this about, blame it on my inexperience of relationships, or probably the negative perception towards it, therefore, it is pretty hard to pen(type) everything out in an open space, because people might think this is towards them, when I'm very clear that this is not for you because that certain someone doesn't know the existence of this blog, or probably the existence of me (i think) talking about him. But then again, why would you think it's you when you've done nothing of this sort? Guilty conscience? I think so too. Don't panic, I won't expose you. Haha.
I don't know leh, all the while I thought it was ethically, morally and downright wrong, but everybody seems to be doing it. Yes, though everybody may be doing, it doesn't mean it's right. But then again, if it's wrong, why are people doing it? Thrill? Psycho? Bored? Fun? Drunk Psycho - still understandable due to your mental condition, but if you're telling me you're executing these actions under a clear state of mind (which excludes drunk people although people claim that a drunkard speaks the truth, but wth lah), it's scary. It's something like, "I know this is hell and I'm still walking towards it", that kind of mentality. Of course this 'action' isn't as dire as what I made it to be, but just exaggerating things a little - for you to see the emphasis I'm desperately trying to make, but to no avail, I can't see my stand yet and tomorrow is my GP exam! OMFGJC.
Won't you feel bad? That you've somewhat betrayed your partner - in terms of having that kind of emotional and physical attachment. Can you imagine, you're in NS now, and somehow, it is supposedly claimed that you boys will call/sms your parents, important friends, loved ones, etc. And instead of talking on the phone with your boy/girl friend, you're actually on the line with another girl you recently met. Like this right, I've already formed a pretty bad impression about you because HOW WOULD YOUR GF FEEL!? She's like at home, waiting for your call and you went to call other girls. If you called your other brothers - still nevermind, But you actually called a girl that you recently met and thought she's quite cute! OMGAH. Isn't it like a mini betrayal? No? Yes? YES! To me at least, it is.
And what about the other girl that you recently just met, aren't you like leading her on? I mean, you have a girlfriend for goodness sake! And you behave you have none - 'trying' to hook this other girl up by being nice and sweet talking. WALAOEH. I don't know what you deserve, but definitely more than a slap, and a kick in the balls.
Okayokay, enough of all the crap above, but seriously, this is my question:
So, you mean it's okay to go around to ask for other girl's number when you're in a relationship?
I scared. (okay, shut up).
I don't really know how to put this about, blame it on my inexperience of relationships, or probably the negative perception towards it, therefore, it is pretty hard to pen(type) everything out in an open space, because people might think this is towards them, when I'm very clear that this is not for you because that certain someone doesn't know the existence of this blog, or probably the existence of me (i think) talking about him. But then again, why would you think it's you when you've done nothing of this sort? Guilty conscience? I think so too. Don't panic, I won't expose you. Haha.
I don't know leh, all the while I thought it was ethically, morally and downright wrong, but everybody seems to be doing it. Yes, though everybody may be doing, it doesn't mean it's right. But then again, if it's wrong, why are people doing it? Thrill? Psycho? Bored? Fun? Drunk Psycho - still understandable due to your mental condition, but if you're telling me you're executing these actions under a clear state of mind (which excludes drunk people although people claim that a drunkard speaks the truth, but wth lah), it's scary. It's something like, "I know this is hell and I'm still walking towards it", that kind of mentality. Of course this 'action' isn't as dire as what I made it to be, but just exaggerating things a little - for you to see the emphasis I'm desperately trying to make, but to no avail, I can't see my stand yet and tomorrow is my GP exam! OMFGJC.
Won't you feel bad? That you've somewhat betrayed your partner - in terms of having that kind of emotional and physical attachment. Can you imagine, you're in NS now, and somehow, it is supposedly claimed that you boys will call/sms your parents, important friends, loved ones, etc. And instead of talking on the phone with your boy/girl friend, you're actually on the line with another girl you recently met. Like this right, I've already formed a pretty bad impression about you because HOW WOULD YOUR GF FEEL!? She's like at home, waiting for your call and you went to call other girls. If you called your other brothers - still nevermind, But you actually called a girl that you recently met and thought she's quite cute! OMGAH. Isn't it like a mini betrayal? No? Yes? YES! To me at least, it is.
And what about the other girl that you recently just met, aren't you like leading her on? I mean, you have a girlfriend for goodness sake! And you behave you have none - 'trying' to hook this other girl up by being nice and sweet talking. WALAOEH. I don't know what you deserve, but definitely more than a slap, and a kick in the balls.
Okayokay, enough of all the crap above, but seriously, this is my question:
So, you mean it's okay to go around to ask for other girl's number when you're in a relationship?
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Happy birthday lynette lee.
I'm 18!
Was shocked to find 9 candles on the cake! As in, I didn't thought of being 18 in the way of COUNTING the number of candles.
Was just telling xiuxiu that when we're younger, we always wanted to grow up and 18 was like the best age. And we're always acting mature and all those. But when you're finally 18, it's like "aiya, heck care lah. just be yourself."
Thanks to those who hugged and touched (HAHAHAHAH) and wished and gave presents. Loved everything and you guys even more. Although I really wished that I could spend time with each individual one of you - just to catch up and talk to past time, it's a waste it didn't happen. We'll make it happen soon, I hope. Love you guys.
And to the last few people who almost didn't make it on time: william, hanpin and shengbiao (/kill), THANKS :D
*dance of the frustrated mango*
Now, it's the first of October and it's Sherman's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY POTTEH:D
Deb mutilated her fringe under my "guidance"! HAHA. Scary. Now we have the same bangs, same specs, live in the same type of house at the same type of surroundings. HAHAHA :D
Thanks for everything people! & this year is new urban male year!! :D Because I received alot of num stuff and wife got a num bf! :D
Was shocked to find 9 candles on the cake! As in, I didn't thought of being 18 in the way of COUNTING the number of candles.
Was just telling xiuxiu that when we're younger, we always wanted to grow up and 18 was like the best age. And we're always acting mature and all those. But when you're finally 18, it's like "aiya, heck care lah. just be yourself."
Thanks to those who hugged and touched (HAHAHAHAH) and wished and gave presents. Loved everything and you guys even more. Although I really wished that I could spend time with each individual one of you - just to catch up and talk to past time, it's a waste it didn't happen. We'll make it happen soon, I hope. Love you guys.
And to the last few people who almost didn't make it on time: william, hanpin and shengbiao (/kill), THANKS :D
*dance of the frustrated mango*
Now, it's the first of October and it's Sherman's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY POTTEH:D
Deb mutilated her fringe under my "guidance"! HAHA. Scary. Now we have the same bangs, same specs, live in the same type of house at the same type of surroundings. HAHAHA :D
Thanks for everything people! & this year is new urban male year!! :D Because I received alot of num stuff and wife got a num bf! :D
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